Wanted: Cleaning Lady, for free.

If it isn't laundry, it's cookie crumbs. If it's not that, it's the looming fear of what lurks in Riley's room. If it's not that, it's the toy explosion in the livingroom, or the playdoh bits all over the kitchen floor, or the dishes in the sink, or the goldfish crumbs underneath the ottoman...it's never-ending.

It's exhausting. I am constantly doing something, as far as the housework goes. And even after I feel like I've accomplished something, I turn around and a bucket of cars has just been dumped in the middle of the livingroom...or Riley's started painting ON her art table and not on paper...or Ronan decides to do the RiverDance on his waffle cookies.

I have dreamed of a cleaning lady. Like the one that comes everyday, in the morning and cleans your entire house by lunchtime -- while you sit in your livingroom, on your laptop, watching the Today Show, munching on crumpets and sipping tea. Then, I get a slap on the face by my two-year-old who wants me to play Thomas and I am back to reality...that I am, in fact, the cleaning lady.

I clean every morning. I vacuum, I clean the kitchen, I do laundry, I pick up toys...but by the time Ryan comes home, it looks as though I have done nothing. Wonder what he thinks I really do all day long...Facebooking, right? Occasionally, I have something to show for my time. Yesterday, I had Riley's room spotless. So, when Ryan was home, I sent him to her room to praise my progress. And then this morning, I woke up to see that Riley's art table (that I had spent 25 minutes scraping paint off of...) was marked with paint and covered with dried brushes and papers stuck to the table. How depressing. (But she's 6, what can I do? Tell her to not paint?)

So here I am, back to square one again, wishing I had a cleaning lady; someone who would do it for free because we all know that in this economy, stay-at-home moms make no money. (Boy, do I wish I was an AIG executive with that nice bonus...but, I digress). Anyone want to work for free? Didn't think so..

Harrisburg and Tampa Egal's Family Reunion: Disney (Where else would it be?)

Yes, we go to Disney all the time. I mean, why shouldn't we? We have annual/season passes and we live less than one hour away. I think it makes up for the first 30 years of my life in which I have never experienced the World I call Disney. Haha.

So, last year, after a huge family vacation debacle, my sister-in-law, Courtney, and I decided to plan our very own amazing vacation. With some phone calls here and there, we opted to do the Disney vacation with our families. We planned and planned and planned. I set-up dining reservations and the week finally came...February 13th-22nd, 2009.

The Harrisburg Egal's arrived at Orlando's International Airport, after several delays, and we met them at the Wyndham Bonnet Creek. Courtney's grandparents have a timeshare and they graciously gave it to them and allowed us to stay with them for the week. The first night there, I made us reservations at the T-Rex Cafe at Downtown Disney. It's basically like the Rainforest Cafe (in fact, they are owned by the same company, I believe), and although overpriced -- it was a cool atmosphere and pretty awesome for your dino-lover. This is a picture of Maggie, Ronan, Conner and Riley outside of the restaurant.

Afterwards, we walked around Downtown Disney and did some light shopping. FYI, I bought nothing. I was a good girl.

The next day, we went to Magic Kingdom. Poor Conner wasn't feeling so great, so we didn't get to ride too many rides, but they did get to walk around for a bit. That night, we had dinner reservations at one of my favorite restaurants, 'Ohana. The food is amazing and if you starve yourself all day, you can really stuff it in at night. I saved myself for the shrimp and the bread pudding. Love that stuff. I think I gained about 3 pounds that night, but it was worth it.

On Sunday, it was breakfast at Chef Mickey's. I really enjoyed it and I think the rest of the family did too. You get to be right up close and personal with the characters, as they all stop at your table, sign autographs and you can take pictures with them. Unfortunately, this was also the start of Riley's 5-day fever/illness. The girl was sick all week...with a fever ranging from 102-104.6. It was awful. It even got to the point where we drove all the way back to Tampa so she could go to her pediatrician...who chalked it up as a virus. Poor thing had a sore throat all week and was not up for doing anything. She moped around a lot, you couldn't blame her...but in the midst of it all, she still could smile for her momma...
This is Ryan and Jason at Chef Mickey's.

Here are the kids with Chef Mickey, himself. I was probably more excited than all of them. I couldn't stop flashing my camera...I just love Disney...

Ever since their birth, Riley and Conner have always had this connection. Conner is 2 months older than Riley, even though he looks like he's 2 years older than her! He's really tall. Anyway, no matter how far away we are, they have remained close...and I just love it...

Oh and here's a picture of the kids with Buzz.

Now, the surprise of the week for me, was how close Maggie and Ronan became. The last time they saw each other, Ronan was still an infant, stuck in a carseat. He might have just started walking at the time, but they definitely did not interact at all. In fact, I think Maggie would get extremely jealous if Courtney held him...but not this time around...

These two played so well. Ronan would follow Maggie around and Maggie would make sure he was included in everything they did. Ronan imitated everything she did and you could see how close they were becoming each and everytime they played together...

After they left our house for the airport, Ronan asked for Maggie (it was so sad...). Hopefully we'll be able to see them sooner than later!

All in all, the trip was good -- considering the illnesses. We love spending time with them...we miss them so much. And maybe someday, we'll live near each other -- as long as it's in a place that doesn't snow!

Love you, Harrisburg Egal's. Miss you lots!

What Facebook Means to Me, An Essay...

I'm kidding, I'm not writing an essay, although I probably could...with as much time as I spend on it.

It started a while back after the MySpace phase. I couldn't handle how MySpace was, so I turned to Facebook and unfortunately, I've been hooked ever since. Ryan calls it an addiction. I call it, well, a neb-noses version of a porn site. I check it all the time. I look for new people to "friend" - which isn't a noun anymore, it's a VERB. If you don't know what that means, it basically is the process of finding someone you know and asking their permission to accept you as their friend, so that you can look through their pictures, read what their friends post on their wall and see what their status is everyday or everytime they choose to change it.

I really enjoy it. I have caught up with many people this way and although I probably won't hang out with them on a regular basis, it is nice to be able to see how they have been doing and how many babies they have.

There is a downside. Even with all the privacy settings I have in place, I can't control what others post or what photos they share with their friends. I have blocked my in-laws. I have blocked several people that are associated with my in-laws...but that still didn't stop them from spying on me and my family.

Last month, I went to Disney (post to follow with pictures) with my brother-in-law and his family (the only in-laws we talk to). We met up with Ryan's cousin (who happens to have a Facebook account and how we reconnected was via ME and Facebook). She posted a picture of my kids and her kids and coincidentally, an in-law friended her that same week we were in Disney and tah-dah, they saw pictures of my kids.

Now, originally, I was freaking out. I felt like I was violated. For real. I contemplated deleting my Facebook account altogether. I was furious that they would be so shady in suddenly friending someone I was friends with and although I can't say that it was the only reason...it seemed like they had ulterior motives on their end. Ultimately, I chose to keep my account because I have good connections there. I can't let them control all these aspects of my life. I had to get over the fact that they had access to pictures of my kids. I guess I just have to suck it up and think that they are missing out on the cutest kids in the world...and they don't and won't ever have the chance to know them.

The whole internet thing can be so scary sometimes. This blog was once NOT PRIVATE and because of them, I had to change it. You just never know who can access what, even if they are labeled as family.

Anyway, even though I love FBing (Facebook-ing), I'm starting to get tired of it. What do I really care what everyone is doing at every hour of the day? I don't think I really do...but it's fun...and it takes me out of the reality I live everyday (even if it's only for 5-minute stints here and there!)

Pittsburgh, Part 3

While I kept Riley out of school for a few days, I had to make up for it (or make myself feel better) by taking both of the kids to the Pittsburgh Children's Museum. It has changed so much from when I was younger, but for the better! It still has the Mr. Roger's Neighborhood room -- and although neither child has any idea who the guy is, I was amused by it and enjoyed watching them run around the room for 40 minutes. We went with my cousin, Alin...

Riley and Alin next to the famous sneakers. (Riley had to ask me what sneakers were. When she realized it meant "tennis shoes" she asked, "why didn't he just call them tennis shoes?") Ahhh, smart. The third floor of this building houses a "Water Play" area. They have two big pool type basins where the kids can push sailboats, splash water and watch how certain objects respond to whirlpools. It also has a large area of water that comes up from the ground and the kids have the chance to build a "plumbing" system, watching how the water moves through tubes. Ronan absolutely loved it. He was so willing to put on the raincoat and water shoes. He tried out every single task that was offered. Riley, on the otherhand, started to freak out because she was getting wet. Funny, though...we were in an entire room of water. It took her 40 minutes of standing around before she finally got into the activities...

If you ever have the chance to go, it's a lot of fun. It's something I'd take the kids back to if we had the time. They were so entertained and the best part, is that for the 5 hours we were there, we still didn't get to see EVERYTHING.

And that is how Ronan felt when we had to leave. He literally freaked out as we walked out the door of the museum. He screamed over and over, "I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go, Momma." It was so sad and even though we could have gone back for a little while longer, I was hungry and let's face it, he's not the boss.

The next day, we went shopping for Riley's shoes for the wedding and after 5 tiresome hours, we finally found them at Payless. That night, we had dinner with the parentals and Uncle Mike and the kids and I hung out at Rochelle & Steve's for a couple hours. The kids truly had a blast there. Let's just say that when we left, Ronan spent the 20 minutes in the car screaming for Steve. Not the way you want to end the night, but I was happy they love them so much....I don't have pictures from that night, but I know Steve does, so I'll have to get them from him...

Pittsburgh (Part 2)

Alrighty, so the MAIN reason we went was for Rochelle's bridal shower. Riley was SO excited about it. Not only did it give her a reason to dress up, but she was going to get to see Rochelle! Riley's looking forward to being a flower girl and you could totally see it that morning at the Country Club. Aren't they so cute?!
And the one below is of the entire bridal party...

That same night, we planned her bachelorette party. It had been such a long time since I had gone out "clubbing" that I had no idea what to wear -- as you can see by my dated outfit. I might as well have been wearing pegged jeans and a sweater vest. I'm getting old.

Rochelle was so funny that night...the girl can dance! She spotted this man (happily sporting a 10-90, aka a MULLET) and scooted her way over there so I could take a picture. The guy had no idea he was in it.

By the end of the night, our group had dwindled down from 28 to 6. We had danced and danced and danced and no joke, at 1 am, we all literally stood in a circle, swaying from side-to-side in a complete trance. Rochelle decided that the night was over and so we went outside to wait for rides and get fresh air.

Now, when your shoes hurt at the beginning of the night and you still wear them...you know it isn't going to end pretty. A lot of us suffered through it but forgot our feet hurt when we danced. I can't say we didn't suffer, though, when Rachael (Rochelle's sister), graced us with her little sausages at 1:30 a.m. Something just isn't right about these feet. And yes, she wore pleather leggings out in public. (Rachael, I liked the outfit.)

Trip to Pittsburgh (Part 1)

Last week, we threw my Little (Sister -->Sorority), Rochelle, a bridal shower and bachelorette party. Being that it was in Pittsburgh, I only had two choices. One, drive 15 hours with two kids and pray that I make it there without having to stop every 2 hours to change a movie OR two, fly with two kids and pray that they wouldn't drive me and every other passenger insane. I chose number two. I was really excited about going to Pittsburgh to see my Little, so I was blinded by the fact that I had agreed to get onto a moving object, high in the air, with two demanding little people.

The night before the trip, I started freaking out. I was anxious and stressing hardcore about what I committed to do. I looked at Ryan several times, wondering if I should take either or both children. When we arrived at Tampa's airport, there was no turning back. We were going...

Lucky for us, the Southwest people happened to be really nice that day. The lady behind the check-in counter was friendly and actually offered to give Ryan a pass to come to the gate with us. What a saving grace that was! I wasn't stressed going through security. I was happy to wait for the plane...and then it was time to leave. I started to sweat (mostly because I was dressed for Pittsburgh weather and not Tampa weather) but as we stood in line to board, I truly questioned whether or not I had made the right decision.

We boarded and the kids were ecstatic. Row 18. That was the lucky row. We had it all to ourselves. Ronan was in window, I was in the middle (oh, lucky me!) and Riley had the aisle. It was great. We sat, listened to the flight attendants do their thing and off we went. This leg of the flight was great. Ronan was so happy.



I downloaded some Disney shows onto my iPod and put on some cheap headphones. The boy was happy. There were 6 shows on there, 23 minutes each. He didn't make it through one of them. He would make me change it to something else. I was sure that if could manage to watch every show in its entirety, we'd make it to Pittsburgh in absolute peace. Nope.

Ronan: "I don't wanna watch Doh-wah." (Dora)
Me: "Okay, Ronan, what do you want to watch?"
Ronan: "I wanna watch Doh-wah."
Me: "Okay, buddy, you ARE watching Dora."
Ronan: "I don't wanna watch Doh-wah. Ein-tine." (Einsteins) -- Volume is much louder.
Me: "Okay, Ronan, I'll change it to Einsteins."

And so I did. And after literally, two minutes, he wanted Dora or back to Einsteins. It was really annoying and it got to the point where I started to feel nauseous. He was tired and that's when I decided to hold him tight and try to get him to sleep. With about an hour left of the flight, little dude was peacefully asleep in my lap...ahhhh, quiet.

But wait, I have another child...Miss Riley!

What an absolute angel. She is completely capable of keeping herself entertained and happy -- as long as she has something to do and a snack to match. She gleefully played with her Nintendo DS and when she was over that, she colored...for over an hour. The flight attendants stopped every so often and checked on the status of her work...but it was awesome. I think that if my kids were like that on every trip, I'd fly everywhere....

This is my brother, Mike. He lives in Pittsburgh with his girlfriend and the last time we had the chance to see them, Ronan was only 5 months old. The night we arrived, Mike and Jess came to see us at my parents house and the kids LOVED him. They were all over him. It was really nice to see them hanging out and playing with him -- we're looking forward to seeing them when they move to Florida!

Our first night was great...the kids were spoiled, they hung out with family/friends and we made it to Pittsburgh in one piece...if only the flight home were just as easy (haha...more Pittsburgh trip reports to come...)

Am I doing this whole 'mom' think all wrong?

I could cry while I write this post because I feel like I have become Riley's worst nightmare. Let me rephrase. I have become my OWN worst nightmare, as far as parenting my daughter goes.

I want to start off by saying that Riley was the CENTER of our world for 4.5 years. She was an only child for so long (and almost stayed that way) and then when Ronan came along, it all changed for her. I worried when I was pregnant about how I could love another person like I love Riley and asked every mother of more than one kid, if it was humanly possible to share the love like that. Reassured by every mom that love doesn't divide -- that it grows -- I became satisfied with the fact that Riley would never feel like we didn't love her any less when Ronan came along.

Now that Ronan is here, I sometimes feel like I don't give her enough of me that I should. I spend a lot of time with Ronan and it's warranted. He's 2 years old and depends on me more than she does...and to be fair to him, I devoted 4.5 years to just Riley, so I feel like I owe it to him to give him attention when it's just us during the day...but when the two of them get together and the fights begin...well, I don't know.

I know I spend a lot of time reprimanding Riley. In my mind, I feel like she should know better than to flip out on him and while I put Ronan in "time-outs" for hitting his sister, when she retaliates, I am just saddened by it. I know, she's 6. Kids do that. I get it. I am not saying she needs to be perfect or understand 100% of the time. I am just at a loss as to what to do as a mom for her. I don't want to yell at her all the time and lately, I know that's what I do.

So, now we are at a point where I think she just absolutely hates me. Okay, maybe hate is a strong word...but I know she doesn't like me as much as she used to. I know she LOVES me. But, I always envisioned that I would have this best-friend/mother-daughter thing going and it's not there. She doesn't confide in me at all. She tells her secrets to her friends' moms. Granted, it might be the cooler thing to do, but I can't say I'm not devastated by it.

When Ryan "confronted" her about a secret she had told my friend (and he did it in a way she'd never know we were told by my friend), she denied it all and reassured us that she wouldn't keep secrets from me. She never did divulge the secret to me. And then there is part of me that thinks that she even forgets what secrets she tells. She has extreme ditzy moments...and we can't fault her for it...it's part of being a kid, I guess!

I don't even know what I'm writing about now, other than the fact that I have realized that I am becoming my dad...the man that terrified me growing up with how strict he was...and it drives to me to tears. I don't have a close relationship to my mom. I talk to her, but not about anything that matters to me...and now I'm horrified that I have created that same dynamic with my own daughter.

Yesterday, we went to Target (what day would be complete without a trip there...) and bought a movie for the kids. In the process, Riley talked us (or Ryan) into buying her a toy and it came with stipulations...that she had to clean her room and play nice with Ronan in the process, before the toy could even be opened. She hurried into her room with Ronan and cleaned feverishly. Everything was picked up, the room even smelled good (she sprayed something pineapple-scented) and while putting things away, decided to stand on her art desk and jump onto the princess couch. Well, Ronan is an imitator. He does what he sees. So, he decided to get on and jump off, too. He didn't wait her her to get off, so they collided and no doubt, it hurt her. BUT, he didn't do it on purpose. She was so angry and so pissed, she went to "choke" him and knowing I was in the room, opted to pinch his arm really hard. I was so furious with her, I took the toy and told her it was not going to be opened.

She flipped out...Riley style. Slamming her feet, pouting, doing the "hmph" sound and furrowing her brow. It irritated me to no end. So, I told her to chill out and to talk to us when she was done freaking. An hour later, Ryan checks on her and sees this on her door:



Nice, huh? We laughed about it in the living room, where she couldn't hear...but I can't say that I wasn't upset about it. She came out and apologized, but not because she felt bad, but because she wanted the toy. She would never ever treat any of her friends' moms that way, but is fine to do that to me, and it's hurtful. She only yells at Ryan and I...and it scares me that she's only 6. Imagine what I have to look forward to when she's 13.

I'm venting, I know. I'm just nervous. I don't know what to do with her. I don't know how to react to anything and honestly, it makes me sad. I see so much of my dad in me now and that scares me. I resented my dad for years and years and although we have a good relationship now, it didn't come without years of heartache. I can remember wanting to run away almost every night while in high school...but not doing it because I didn't know what to do. And I know that Riley and I will more than likely have those moments, too...but I don't want them to happen now. I just feel like a bad mom. I feel like I am not giving her enough love like I should, but when we start to have awesome moments together, her fuse breaks and the moment is quickly lost. What am I supposed to do? She's a great kid and honestly, it's only a sliver of our day, but when it DOES happen, it's big and traumatizing. I just don't want to fail her and I don't know how to react or cope without damaging her for life...

Gasparilla Morning

This past Saturday, we went to our 2nd annual Gasparilla here in Tampa. It's basically a "pirate invasion" and they have a 'Mardi Gras' type celebration for it. There is a huge story behind it and I've heard it a couple of times, but for me to describe it, well, I'm not good at that. Haha.

Anyway, for us, it's an excuse to get out of the house, head to Ryan's base and sit outside catching beads. It was an early morning for us...but worth it... Here are a few pictures of us Pre-Gasparilla celebrating...


Ignore the ginormous growth of a zit on my forehead. It's so big, it looks 3-dimensional. What is up with adult acne? For real. I thought I was over that from high school, but apparently, my life isn't complicated enough to not have to deal with blemishes and questions from Ronan...when he points to the big pimple and says, "whas dat?"

I'm sorry, how cute are they?

Did I Really Just Get Talked Out of It?

On my Friday work shift, I walked in with the intent to quit my job. One manager, I really like, so when I saw her, I just knew...that it wasn't going to go well.

I told her that the scheduling was an issue for me...that with Ryan's upcoming schedule, I wouldn't be able to be an asset to them because of the lack of "knowing" when I would be available to work. Being the nice person she is (she's from Pittsburgh and I think that has a lot to do with why she likes me)...she reassured me that they would "work with me" and to wait it out.

I have ultimately decided that I'm not going to work on the weekdays...that I'll leave Saturday and Sundays available to work, but the hours I get there are not worth the stress of having to deal with innately rude people.

Anyway, this event completely exemplifies the type of person I am. I can't say no. I can't stand my ground. I'm a butt.

I'm a planner. I'm not a planner. I'm a planner...

Apparently, when it comes to certain things in my life, I'm a certified schizophrenic.

If you know me, you know I plan. I plan everything. I'm really good at planning out Disney vacations, appointments, schedules and keeping track of life activities. But, I don't plan out meals. Why? I have no idea. It's not like I don't know that everyday, we'll be eating dinner. It's not like I don't have time during the day to prep what we need to eat that evening. I have found myself standing in front of our "empty" pantry, wondering what we're going to eat for dinner.

And now that we have basically decided to not eat out as often as we have in the past, it's essential that I plan out what we are going to eat. I don't know what is stopping me, other than the fact that I'm bored with my recipe repertoire. We eat the same meals. Over and over and over again.

We eat lots of chicken.

I'm over chicken. BUT, we can't stop eating it. We thrive on the protein from it and I know there are so many different things you can do to it, but we don't do it. I have cookbooks. I have recipes. The problem lies in the fact that I stick to what I am used to, what I'm comfortable with, and what ingredients I have readily available in the my house.

So, I have decided to plan out our meals...starting with this upcoming week. Okay, so here goes...

Monday: wait, I can't plan anything because I might have to work...
Tuesday: ooops, might have to work again...
Wednesday: ahhh, probably have to work, but not sure...
Thursday: slight possibilty of working, but then again, how would I know?
Friday: Disney, we are eating out...

So there you have it. I can't plan a thing because I have no idea when I'm working. Yeah, you heard me. I work retail. I don't work in an office. I don't have a desk I sit at typing furiously at the computer...I stand behind a register, asking customers if they found the panties they were looking for and if they want to sign up for a credit card they can't afford and pressure them to do so because the amount of hours I get depends on it.

It's horrific. I'm not sure why I'm subjecting myself to it. The fact of the matter is that they are supposed to give you your schedule for the following Sunday...by Wednesday. That means on Wednesday (uh, yesterday), I was supposed to know if I would be working Sunday through Saturday of next week.

I went into work last night and the schedule was still not finished. I went online today and it's not up. Wonder if I will know on Saturday afternoon if I'll have to be there the next day. It's a planner's nightmare and even worse because I have a family I cannot plan anything with...

Okay, I'm done venting...

And God Created Man...

Riley has zero concept of time. What takes a matter of minutes would be described by Riley as taking hours or even days. Her memories of past events generally happens "last night" or "when I was 2 years old." She will recall things like, "oh, remember when I went to Sea World last night?" or, "I remember seeing that movie when I was like 2 years old."

So, while sitting at the dining room table just now, she walks up and says:

Momma, when was the first person created by God? It was a long time ago, right? Like in the 1960s or something? Were you alive in the 1960s and did you know Ben Franklin?

I still haven't answered her because I am not sure of the year...and apparently, Riley wants a number to go along with the answer. She's looking at her Bible, though, hoping she finds something...maybe it'll be a picture of the Beatles...they were around in the 60s, right?

Gotta love her...
(Did I happen to mention that I suffer from this, too? Like mother, like daughter.)

An Honest Lie

Wait, what did I say?  Yes, I am calling it an honest lie.

Picture this:

Laughter from two happily playing children. A moment of silence.  A 6-year-old girl screams at her little brother.  You hear a small collision of a 26-page book to the arm of a skinny 6-year-old. Seconds later, a screaming and crying 2-year-old emerges from the room.  And following him, is the 6-year-old saying, "I did not pinch him on the arm!"

Analyze this:

The 2-year-old does not have enough words in his vocabulary to even tell us anything happened to him.  Who is telling on who?

Ronan has a brand new toy...

Okay, not really.  It's mommy's toy.  My Cricut Expression.  

Ronan has been really into helping me out with everything I do.  When I say this, I mean everything from prepping his toaster waffle for breakfast, handing me toilet paper when I pee, and now, pushing the buttons when I use the Cricut.

I was making signs for the PTA and he was happy to push the letters I needed.  I had to point some letters out for him, but he knew some of them on his own!  His favorite thing to do is to push "cut" which gets the machine started.  


He's been watching the Letter Factory, which teaches letters and their sounds, and it has helped him so much.  Not just for the speaking aspect, but for the letter recognition, too.  He knows several of the letters and now, we can use the Cricut to practice.  My scrappin'/card-makin' friends should appreciate this post!

Update: Ronan Chase

Ronan has been a nightmare with his picky eating.  A true, absolute, pain-in-my-bum nightmare. Blog followers know that I celebrate mealtime accomplishments, if they involve anything other than french fries or chicken nuggets.  His two-year doctor's appointment was a wake-up call for me and one that I wish I had more control over...but I don't.

He's on target for his weight, head circumference and height.  This, was to much surprise to his pediatrician.  Why?  Well, after I told her what his diet consisted of (mainly carbs), she was shocked to see that he was actually growing.  When I told her that he barely eats meat and refuses his disgusting smelling pediatric vitamin, she suggested a test to check his iron.  Sure enough, a toe prick later, little man is anemic.  

I freaked out in my head.  I didn't know what to do.  Ronan is headstrong and stubborn and knows exactly what he wants...or doesn't want...and it has been something extremely frustrating for both Ryan and I.  Many tears have been shed in the kitchen, wondering what in the world we could offer him of nutritious value that he might possibly try.  Nothing.

So, the pediatrician suggested I take him to a speech therapist -- to evaluate his speech, which I was worried about -- and to evaluate his feeding issues.  We went.

His speech is fine.  He might have started out slow and behind, but has caught up and isn't anything they have any concern over.  Not the same could be said about his eating.  They had me bring in a few items he loves to eat (so I picked Original Goldfish -- he's allergic to the cheesy ones -- and his water) and a few items he refuses to eat (I brought a Nutrigrain bar and a banana).  

He was so well-behaved in the office...very considerate in wanting me to feed the therapist some of his goldfish, as well.  She said his chewing is perfect, swallowing is exactly what it's supposed to look like  but that he has "texture issues."  He is hypersensitive when it comes to various textures.  He would not touch the banana (even though he did in the past.)

So now, we are just waiting to hear back from Tricare, as to whether or not they will cover his visits to them so they can "work on Ronan" and get him to touch, try, whatever...different things.

I know whatever is done is going to be more than I could ask for.  At this point, it's like I need a miracle.  To those of you concerned about him, thank you.  Thank you for caring.  He's fine and will eventually move on...but not without help, so let's hope we can get that help from someone. I will keep everyone posted on little dude's progress...

A New Year, A New Me...

I'm not going to sit here and complain about how much I weigh or what I look like under my clothes, but I will sit here and say that this year, I'm going to be a better me than I ever have been.  I am done feeling sorry for myself, wondering what my life would be like if I could wear a triangle top two-piece bikini.  This year, baby, I'm going to make it happen.  Alright, so maybe not the triangle top, because let's face it, a triangle top is just another name for nipple warmer...but I vow to expose my mid-section to the world and allow it to be penetrated by the sun, so that it too, may match the rest of my exposed body parts.  I do NOT want it to match my white bum.

I'm working out.  And not just any sort of working out, but I'm working out with Ryan, at a gym and guess what, it feels good.  

When Ryan and I first started dating, that's what we did.  We went to the gym.  And a couple that sweats together, stays together.  We were really good about it, too.  Then, pregnancy happened to both of us and well, let's just say the last place I wanted to be was in a gym filled with bacteria that I could potentially bring home to my newborn child.  So, we made our own gym, in our garage and worked out there.

Then, Ronan happened.  Pregnancy was my best excuse to not workout and to eat everything in sight.  My double chin doubled.  But, I nursed and nursed and nursed and the weight came off. What is funny, though, is that even though the weight came off, it didn't make me feel any better.  I still wasn't exercising.  That is, until December 27th, 2008.

I'm no newbie to the gym scene.  I've been a member of various gyms since my freshman year of college (where I gained the freshman-30).  And as expensive as some gyms can be, there is something to be said about paying $20-40 a month for a membership, with childcare...and being around a fair amount of people who are working towards the same goal you are.  It's motivating and it's entertaining.

I say entertaining because let's be realistic, some people are down-right funny.  The gym is the only place that knows no fashion boundaries -- where thongs on top of your shorts is accepted and where noone tells you that the 80's wants their tie-dyed MC Hammer pants back.  It's where many male upper bodies are twice the size of their legs and a place where girls give you dirty looks if your boobs happen to look really good in that tank top.  

It's also a place where you can stare at yourself in the mirror, flex your muscles and nobody laughs at you.  (At least not to your face.)  It's a place where grunting is normal and somewhere I often say to Ryan, "I don't want to do that because it makes my legs burn."  Does he take that for an answer, absolutely not.  But I'll still say it.

We've been on lots of "gym dates" lately.  We drop the kids off at the Kids Klub and exercise. We catch up on life, what work was like, what the kids did that day and what we're going to eat. No, it's not a dinner date at our favorite restaurant...but it's allowed us to reconnect and we are starting to become the people we want to be:  Healthy and Active.

I will have a six pack this year.  It might be underneath some fat and skin, but it'll be there.  It might not make it's debut until the next year, but you can't fault me for having a goal.  I plan to continue working out with Ryan at the gym every chance we get, not only for the physical benefits, but mentally, it's done wonders.  Exercise truly does decrease stress and I'll take that as long as it will work for me.

Look for me this year, a new me...more positive, more focused and more energetic.  I'm going to be able to balance everything on my plate and more...and maybe I'll be wearing a bikini while I'm doing it.

Happy New Year

We've been so fortunate to be stationed in warm weather states  for the past few years.  How many people can say that they were at the beach on New Years Day?  Well, if you are from where Ryan and I were, Pittsburgh, you know that it's not something you'd do there...hang out along the Three Rivers...

We took advantage of the nice weather we were given and headed out to the local beach about 10 minutes away from where we live.  I don't know that I would ever swim there, but to walk along the sand and let the kids play...well, I'd do that anytime.  The kids had a blast...

A Very Merry Egal Christmas

We didn't plan to spend a lot of money on gifts this year...a sentiment I'm sure I shared with many other parents.  The amazing thing, though, is that we actually stuck to it.  Many of the presents the kids received were from Pa and Grandma...and seeing as how they decided to spoil both kids, we figured, "why spend the money when they bought what we were going to buy!"

Ronan has been obsessed with trains and cars, so of course, he had an abundance of those under the tree.  He was definitely more into the present concept, being that we had talked about it more...but he wasn't quite as excited to open all his gifts, like Riley was!  The difference between the two kids was that while Riley was more about the QUANTITY of gifts, Ronan was about the QUALITY.  He actually wanted to play with each thing before moving onto the next present...something that I'm sure will change as he gets older...

Ah, onto my precious Riley.  She still believes in Santa, which is great.  She asked him for this cupcake maker (which I really didn't want to fulfill, but since Pa has to get anything Riley asks for, he took care of that for me...)  It was under the tree, unwrapped (because Santa's 401K was drained and he had no extra funds to wrap presents for every boy and girl) and it was the highlight of Riley's Christmas.  

She could not wait to use it.  I, on the other hand, put it off as long as I could.  A few days went by, me, still procrastinating the opening of this bright pink box...when I couldn't take the "can we do the cupcake machine?" question any longer...I had it all set-up one evening so in the morning we could just play.

I read the directions and carefully placed all the necessary supplies on placemats at the dining room table.  Riley was in her glory.  She stirred and stirred and mixed and touched all the ingredients she could get her hands on.  I walked all the way to the microwave and cooked that cupcake for an entire 30 seconds.  

It was done.

We prepared the icing, as noted in the directions, placed it in the machine and away Riley went, pressing the button to ice her cupcake.  That's when the screaming started.  No, not from Ronan.  No, not from Riley...but from ME, as the icing literally went everywhere.  Picture pulling a mixer out of the batter, while it's still on.  That's what it did.  The icing started to fly all over the place and I about freaked.  We stopped and with a sad face, I looked at Riley and said, "Honey, this was poorly made.  It was made in China."

We cleaned it up and I let Riley lick what icing she could get her hands on.  Guess where the machine is now?  It's in several pieces scattered throughout Riley's room.  I think the next time she bakes, it's going to be with REAL batter and icing and we'll do it in the kitchen.

Thanks, Santa...thanks for nothing.

Christmas Eve

I know, I'm what, 20 days late with this post?  Better late than never, I always say.  Well, I don't think I ALWAYS say that.  I think I just say it when it suits my situation...anyway...

We went to Sea World on Christmas Eve with our neighbors and had such a great time.  It was so different than last year, mostly because Ronan really understands what's going on around us now and so he was able to react to everything happening.  

The kids loved the pet show and the Shamu show.  I, on the other hand, loved the holiday decorations.  The very same tree we took a picture in front of last year, was here again...and I still loved it as much as I did last year!

The kids and I:  
Riley and Ronan being silly in front of the tree...look at how huge those ornaments are.  They are truly bigger than Riley's head.
And a picture of Riley and I...she seems to still love her momma.  

Oh, Riley...

a)  The other day, Riley came home from school and said to me, "Momma, Robbie was dancing so funny today.  I couldn't stop laughing at him."  I said, "Really?  What was he doing?"  She said, "Oh, he was dancing soooo 90's!!!"  

The best part of that conversation was that she was born in 2002, so the 90's for her is like the 20's for me...I know it happened, but I don't know what...

b)  She got into the car last week and before I could ask her how her day was, she blurted out, "I got a note in my agenda."  She was so sad and in asking her how it happened, she dramatically emphasized that she "haaaaad to tell Ada something during storytime and Ms. Graves warned me but I just had to tell her. I couldn't wait."  

When I probed more to find out what it was that she just haaaaad to tell Ada, she blankly responded, "hmm, I forget now."

c)  Riley's new catch phrase is "by the way."  She enjoys tagging it on most sentences, and not in the beginning of them, as to let us know it's something 'new,' she adds it to the end:

"I got my jeans wet, and by the way, I had no umbrella."

"I wanted to get a snack today at school, and by the way, I was hungry."

She is so funny sometimes!

He shrugs his shoulders...

Yep, that's Ronan's new thing.  When I ask him what he wants, he looks at me with his puppy dog brown eyes and shrugs his shoulders...it's adorable and frustrating at the same time...

He's only two and I know two-year-olds can be trying on parental patience.  I know they throw tantrums.  I know that are extremely active.  I know that they are picky eaters.  But none, none I have ever known are like my Ronan.

Anyone who has read my blog, knows that the boy is a picky eater.  To only have a handful of foods in one's repertoire might be normal for a toddler, but for Ronan, it's become a medical issue.

He's anemic.  It's not life threatening...but it's still something I'm concerned about.  Why is he this way?  Well, if you only eat carbs and chicken nuggets from Wendy's, how could you not? He gags at the smell of the vitamin drops.  He won't touch the chewable vitamins.  He doesn't like anything soft or wet. He doesn't really like anything that isn't from the 5 ONLY things he eats. You might say this has caused lots of heartache and stress in the Egal house.

So tomorrow, I have an appointment to take Ronan to a speech therapist -- who is going to help him with his "expressive disorder" he has and also, for the "feeding issues"  we are facing.  I have received positive feedback about what the therapist will do for us, so I'm hoping we are one of the success cases they can brag about.  I don't want Ronan to be sick, ever.  

Why can't the boy just eat a freakin' apple or banana?