Do you ever say anything you regret? Have you ever said anything and a minute later thought, 'man, I should not have said that' and then begin apologizing profusely?
For some reason, I have been the victim of having things said to me that I just wished they wouldn't have said...and even after of sleeping on it for 12 hours, I'm still upset about it.
This is what happened:
Okay, so Riley was evaluated in gymnastics about 2 weeks ago and they called us up and said they wanted to move her up to the next level. There would be a change in her schedule, but it was nothing that would stop us from moving her up. We were so excited and proud of her and decided to go for it and change her from her original schedule of Thursdays and Saturdays to Mondays and Thursdays (an hour later.)
Yesterday, Riley and I arrive at 4:25 p.m. and sit down and another mom -- whose daughter was in Riley's original class -- was there and this is how the conversation went down:
*Names have been changed to protect me from getting even more upset...
Other Mom (OM): Well, you guys are a little late.
Me: No, Riley got moved to the next class, the one that starts at 4:30.
OM: Why?
Me: Oh, well she got moved up to the next level. I guess they evaluated her a couple weeks ago and said she could move up.
OM: What? Well Susie* didn't get to move up. I don't understand. Why did Riley get evaluated?
Me: I don't know. I didn't ask for it. I guess she's just doing well.
OM: Well, when did Riley start?
Me: July of last year. We are just doing this for fun, though. I just want her to get exercise. That's why she goes twice a week.
OM: Well, Susie's been here longer than that. I don't know why they wouldn't move her up. I mean, Susie does in one day what Riley has to do in two days.
Me: (completely floored and dumbfounded) Uhhh, well, we are extremely proud of Riley and hopefully she'll want to keep going because we might put her in three days a week.
OM: Oh, that's a lot. It's okay though, I didn't want Susie moved up anyway because her friend is in the class now and she joined because of us and I wouldn't want to move her up and out of this class.
Me: (silent but thinking that some expletives should have been used had RILEY NOT BEEN SITTING RIGHT THERE ON MY LAP!)
This lady had the audacity to say this in front of my daughter (who can be very shy and not confident sometimes) and question why she was moved up? I was furious. I had to stop talking to her. She then started to ask Riley if she wanted to move onto the team (gymnastics competition team) and Riley said yes -- not even sure what it was, I think.
I couldn't believe it. I am still hurt by it because this lady is someone we actually are involved in another activity with and have gotten along with relatively well. I was just in shock that she didn't catch what she said and had no idea that what she even said was out of line. Luckily for all parties involved that I'm not a confrontational person or else it could have gotten real ugly, real quick.
The other situation happened a few months ago, but to this day, I still get upset about it and I'm sure anyone who reads this one will be equally as appalled as I was: (Have a seat, this is a good one, too.)
I was at another one of Riley's activities she was involved in, chatting with a few moms about Ronan -- telling them about all his allergies, his lack of eating and how he is a little behind on the speech thing. The one mom begins to question me about his allergies and his speech and says to me:
"Sounds to me like he might be autistic."
What the freak do you say in response to that? I am already neurotic about the health of my children, extremely conscious about Ronan's progress and here I am being told by a mom (who has an autistic son) that my child is displaying everything her son did and is probably autistic.
I left that meeting in tears, called Ryan who told me to never go back, and since then have had Ronan checked. He is fine. He's perfect, except he may have a speech delay. Nothing I can't get have taken care of with help.
Unbelievable, right? I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm on candid camera and someone just wants to get a reaction out of me, so they say these ludacris things to get me to respond. But it's not candid camera -- it's real life. It just so happens to be other moms who have no tact and don't seem to care about what they say and what others would take away from it.
I have learned a lesson through these two events, though. I will never go around and diagnose another child's behavior or situation because I am not a doctor (at least not one with a certificate or diploma -- but webmd has been very very good to me....) and I will always think twice about what I am going to say because I would never want another person to feel like how I felt when that mom degraded my daughter's progress to make herself feel better.
Okay, I feel better. I had to let that out. Thanks.
For some reason, I have been the victim of having things said to me that I just wished they wouldn't have said...and even after of sleeping on it for 12 hours, I'm still upset about it.
This is what happened:
Okay, so Riley was evaluated in gymnastics about 2 weeks ago and they called us up and said they wanted to move her up to the next level. There would be a change in her schedule, but it was nothing that would stop us from moving her up. We were so excited and proud of her and decided to go for it and change her from her original schedule of Thursdays and Saturdays to Mondays and Thursdays (an hour later.)
Yesterday, Riley and I arrive at 4:25 p.m. and sit down and another mom -- whose daughter was in Riley's original class -- was there and this is how the conversation went down:
*Names have been changed to protect me from getting even more upset...
Other Mom (OM): Well, you guys are a little late.
Me: No, Riley got moved to the next class, the one that starts at 4:30.
OM: Why?
Me: Oh, well she got moved up to the next level. I guess they evaluated her a couple weeks ago and said she could move up.
OM: What? Well Susie* didn't get to move up. I don't understand. Why did Riley get evaluated?
Me: I don't know. I didn't ask for it. I guess she's just doing well.
OM: Well, when did Riley start?
Me: July of last year. We are just doing this for fun, though. I just want her to get exercise. That's why she goes twice a week.
OM: Well, Susie's been here longer than that. I don't know why they wouldn't move her up. I mean, Susie does in one day what Riley has to do in two days.
Me: (completely floored and dumbfounded) Uhhh, well, we are extremely proud of Riley and hopefully she'll want to keep going because we might put her in three days a week.
OM: Oh, that's a lot. It's okay though, I didn't want Susie moved up anyway because her friend is in the class now and she joined because of us and I wouldn't want to move her up and out of this class.
Me: (silent but thinking that some expletives should have been used had RILEY NOT BEEN SITTING RIGHT THERE ON MY LAP!)
This lady had the audacity to say this in front of my daughter (who can be very shy and not confident sometimes) and question why she was moved up? I was furious. I had to stop talking to her. She then started to ask Riley if she wanted to move onto the team (gymnastics competition team) and Riley said yes -- not even sure what it was, I think.
I couldn't believe it. I am still hurt by it because this lady is someone we actually are involved in another activity with and have gotten along with relatively well. I was just in shock that she didn't catch what she said and had no idea that what she even said was out of line. Luckily for all parties involved that I'm not a confrontational person or else it could have gotten real ugly, real quick.
The other situation happened a few months ago, but to this day, I still get upset about it and I'm sure anyone who reads this one will be equally as appalled as I was: (Have a seat, this is a good one, too.)
I was at another one of Riley's activities she was involved in, chatting with a few moms about Ronan -- telling them about all his allergies, his lack of eating and how he is a little behind on the speech thing. The one mom begins to question me about his allergies and his speech and says to me:
"Sounds to me like he might be autistic."
What the freak do you say in response to that? I am already neurotic about the health of my children, extremely conscious about Ronan's progress and here I am being told by a mom (who has an autistic son) that my child is displaying everything her son did and is probably autistic.
I left that meeting in tears, called Ryan who told me to never go back, and since then have had Ronan checked. He is fine. He's perfect, except he may have a speech delay. Nothing I can't get have taken care of with help.
Unbelievable, right? I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm on candid camera and someone just wants to get a reaction out of me, so they say these ludacris things to get me to respond. But it's not candid camera -- it's real life. It just so happens to be other moms who have no tact and don't seem to care about what they say and what others would take away from it.
I have learned a lesson through these two events, though. I will never go around and diagnose another child's behavior or situation because I am not a doctor (at least not one with a certificate or diploma -- but webmd has been very very good to me....) and I will always think twice about what I am going to say because I would never want another person to feel like how I felt when that mom degraded my daughter's progress to make herself feel better.
Okay, I feel better. I had to let that out. Thanks.
4 comments:
oh my friend - you poor thing. i learned at a young age (having a sister with disabilities) how rude and unthoughful people can be about other's children.
don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and tell someone that their comment was out of line or hurtful! It doesn't have to be confrontational - only honest, and maybe the other person needs to hear that so they realize they can't just say things like that.
i'll email soon.
love ya,
G
ditto to Ginger's comments. we'll think of a standard response to those moron moms. Polite but to the point. Kinda like 'thank you, I prefer not to eat that' :) hang in there baby, you are the kids are doing fine....
well, I've been on the receiving end of many, many unacceptable comments...mainly when chris was a baby (well because we all know I was still in high school).
I've learned to take things with a grain of salt, I've learned that the world is full of complete morons and unfortunately they're raising kids but most of all, I've learned that people don't think before they speak. Sometimes, I ignore it but if they're a multiple time offender - I do say something - mainly because I want them to realize they do not sound intelligent they sound like a complete jerk. ** that was the pg version** lol.
Hang in there! Those kids are beautiful!!!
T
One thing I have learned being a parent is that the large majority can be extremely ignorant. In any given number of ways. They can be emotional, oversensitive, easily offended, etc. I really be careful who an when I engage in parent to parent conversation. Otherwise, I leave myself, and my kids, wide open for whatever..my advice to you after reading a couple of your lines, if you dont mind me saying, is to keep her in gymnastics. Chances are the OTHER parent will not be there at all. Play it closer to the cuff, it may feel rude, but it works. Other parents dont necessarily give a hoot about our kids, though we might think they do..
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